playing with the old me

In the spotlight again,
though I wish it wasn’t my time this time.
Captured in the ring of lust and unwanted desire.
Regret, and promise to be better.
Repent, just to take the next exit to peace –rest for a while.
Taking the given chance just to blow it away,
in the next heartbeat.
Waste of mercy?
Waste on me?
All this for free?
Something I never understand.
Want to be a man of my words.
Hurts to fail, even when I choose it.
The things that I want to do I don’t,
and the things I don’t want to do I do.
I don’t understand myself.
I can’t understand myself.
It’s better to be dead with you or to be alive as me.

[silence the foe]